Kick Drum Heart

2010-03-09T19:44:00.001+08:00

I've changed completely to withinamorta! See ya!

2010-03-05T23:32:00.001+08:00

I changed blogs! www.withinamorta.blogspot.com

But I'm still going to blog here though. The other one is for pics and some random stuffs I just had to get of my chest. My life=playradio.blog

Wonderwall

2010-02-27T21:57:00.001+08:00

Wow, you know I certainly felt like dying of some brain-melting syndrome throughout the fucking afternoon cooped up in the fucking room. SHITE I FUCKING NEED AIR. Life's a bitch. ;(

But it's the scissors to my fucking throat

2010-02-26T22:31:00.002+08:00

My eyes are like about to close now but I am going to resist this lingering sleepiness cause it's tgif! I screwed SS and my life, my whole shitey life. You know, I can't help feeling all this accumulated sadness well up in me. I need therapy!!!

With eyes closed, her heart breaks

2010-02-25T20:42:00.002+08:00

I am feeling kinda sad now. I was actually sad the whole day cause it was kind of a miserable one, like those other same, torpid days. I really feel like just rubbing off all those thoughts away from my mind but they are so fucking insistent and makes me afffgegeg. Oh fuck, I am only up to one eassay on diplomacy and deterrence for SS shite!

Writing her ballad

2010-02-23T21:01:00.004+08:00

OMG. Who is this fucking perasan minah??!

Urgh I have been through a turbulent of terrible, demoralizing emotions the past few days and when I think back about them, I was so fucking silly! I am ultimately an ingenue for having even had such thoughts! But really, I hate it when you're friends with someone and they are all nice and friendly to you at one point, and suddenly a stranger the next. I mean just stop it. If we are really friends, then start acting like one and stop being so muddle-headed. If you don't want to be friends, it is so fucking fine with me. We all need closures in our lifetime. Right, Z? (:

AND OMG THERE IS THIS FUCKING PUSSY WHO PUSHED HIS CHAIR SO FUCKING FAR AWAY FROM ME LIKE I HAVE A FUCKING DISEASE. YOU THINK I EVEN WANT TO SIT WITH YOU, FUCKAH??

K whatever, I am not angry anymore with you two pussys k! (:

Every where we turn, more hatred surrounds us

2010-02-20T23:39:00.002+08:00

Just now in Compass, I watched Lion Dance with mummy. The lion was uber cute and we were sitting on the flour, watching through the holes of the railings. It was fun but it made my legs ache.

Ok my hormones are getting more fucked up by the second.

If this is our last night here

2010-02-19T22:30:00.002+08:00

Huh, I was like happy a moment ago but now I am not at all. Chemistry just about killed me for the second time, I am hormonal and I am just fucking sad cause I lost my "Cool as fuck" badge. Oh god, I love that badge! I don't like losing my things cause I have a certain...I don't really have a word for the emotion. But the things that I have each have a fraction of me embedded on it. I know I am weird shut up.

It was a great day actually. My feelings just screw up everything.

You are the moonlight of my life.

2010-02-15T22:29:00.001+08:00

(: MORE!

My beating heart only beats for you

2010-02-14T19:27:00.000+08:00

PHILLIP ELLIS GOSH HE IS SO FUCKING HAWT.

I walked for miles.

2010-02-11T20:00:00.003+08:00

Fuck I don't know why but I am feeling so fucking pissed right now, I could hurl profanities at anything now, even my pillow. Argh why do I have so much anger in me??! ZULAIHA WHY YOU DIDNT REPLY MY MESSAGES?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO 18 CHEFS AND HAVE FUN! Huh k bye.

Pauchy.

2010-02-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

OMG!! I got a fucking A1 for math test!! Like first time in dog-years. I am so affghehe relieved, I felt like kissing T in class when I got paper back. But I didn't hah.

Right so lots of things happened in the week as always. Same old, same old. Okay I don't feel like typing now. I am racking my brains for some little phenomenal event that happened in the last few days. There was one when I got A1 for trigo, then my classmate got nose bleed and blood splattered all over the floor, he was directly beside me and I was blood-queasy. I felt light-headed and felt like I was floating. Urgh, I failed chem chibai.

Kk thats all bye!

I wrote a song for you

2010-01-31T20:03:00.000+08:00

My muscles all feel cramped after the HRC thingy manzx but it was super fun bahah. I actually kind of enjoyed it cause all the CIs were nice and all and the Flying Fox was the fuck. Though I was actually so fucking terrified of it cause we were supposed to seat at the edge of this fucking tall building, I felt like dying. Then it was all pumpy adrenaline, fuck yeah!

Omg internet what the fuck!

I had to find you, tell you I need you

2010-01-28T20:11:00.002+08:00

I am eating Meiji yogurt fuck yeah!

The week's been pretty shitey and I feel so fucked up by the end of it, I just wanted to break down. Some fucked up kid messed with me and thought I would treat it as a fucking innocent joke. But I didn't want to protact it further so whatevs. Chemistry just about killed me and lessons were a drone. Oh god, AND I STILL HAVE SATURDAY TO GO THROUGH FUCK. Just kill me somebody.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

2010-01-26T18:15:00.003+08:00

Nice.

Mahhh...I feel like a bully hah. I keep asking favours from everyone. I hope my biology paper is ensconced beneath Ms Lee's file! Or else I'm dead. Huh what if the paper flew from the pigeon hole?! Oh god I am in paranoia.

The chem test fucking tired my brain cells out like no tommorow. Oh and I got 23.5/30 for English OMG! First time I got an A1 for Comprehension paper fuck yeah!

Holding on to silly things

2010-01-23T15:01:00.002+08:00

Lookbook

Omg this is so fucking hot manzx. He's sixteen from Manchester! Fuck why aren't there any hot Singaporeans like these?? Why Why Why???! I feel, feel just so bereft. :(

We've all been lost for most of this time

2010-01-22T16:04:00.002+08:00

I had a real scary dream just now and it involved so many people I've seen, known and loved in my life that it felt like being in an over-cast movie. I actually had fun today and Ole was pretty good. My group had P, YY, CW, JW, EC, J and Tau! So we had to pick up the stuffs the residents had gathered in the black shitty plastics we distributed the other day and it was raining bad! We had to share umbrellas and I got soaked a little in the rain. I didn't bring much of the bags and the guys did most of the lugging. It was super funny god I had to supress pee. We waited in the vd after finishing all the units and we read the old newspapers the people had donated. Finally the recyling truck came and we sold all the stuffs fuck yeah!

Okay why am I giving a play-by-play? But it was truly fun besides the shite weather and having to wait thirty minutes before we got dismissed. And this is our last year of Ole omg. I am lucky I had one of the best times of my life. :)

Are you there god? It's me, Margaret

2010-01-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

I feel so affgehehek. Just feeling like ripping my ulcer from my fucking mouth that hurts whenever I eat or swallow and just makes my mouth all sore and dry especially in hot afternoons. Why?? Suddenly I just feel like spending the rest of my days praying to god and just wear my telekung without anything underneath forever until I am old and crippled. At least I'll be at peace. :[

if only I had something to look forward to every morning when I force my lids open and brave the cold of warm showers. But I am thankful I still have Mummy and my lovely bffs (so primary school!) So I will try to be happy. For myself.

Our hopes and expectations

2010-01-18T21:15:00.003+08:00

Alright... I just read the weirdest blog ever and I feel so weirded out cause this girl is just fucking contradicting herself. She's from my school and I really don't fancy her from the start. She keeps preaching and preaching about stuffs and telling people how she's so much better in her religion when really, are you doing any good by doing so? Talk about something you find discomforting and loathe it so much but hell you're fucking doing it too! And fuck her posts are just so fucking dreary, I don't know what else to say. I know your efforts of praying 5 times a day and doing cyer ceramahs on your blog is to alert us muslims but really, really. I rather watch TV1 Forum Hal Ehwal thanks. :) (and I do watch it, having been forced by my mum and I have a somewhat crush with one of the uztaz since I was like a kid hah).

Clearly I am unnecessarily pissed with this one. Well, I blame myself for reading her blog and getting all heaty about it. Tisa, next time don't read and get angry okay.

No more nights, no more pain

2010-01-17T21:15:00.002+08:00

Fuck I feel all fucked up. Hormones? Fuck you. Why do I still have this fucking thing stuck onto my chest like elephant glue-insistent and brings up such abomination in me? What is it that I'm lacking, really? Because I think what I really need is an answer to finally relief me from all that trouble and hurt I've been feeling every time I look at them.

If anybody bothered, the comment box is readily awaiting your responses. (And don't try to tell me publicly/face-to-face with the usual, irritating, "Kau okay tak?"/ in school/ anywhere out of this fucking blog)

2010-01-05T18:12:00.002+08:00

I thought I wanted a kick-vagina start first day of school but everything turned out wrong. It was raining in the morning and I had to shield myself with my bag which is now marred by the moisture. I hit my knee later in the bus though I am thankful there is even an empty seat just waiting for me to hit my knee on. I ended with a fucking bruise. I had a uniform crisis in the bus stop as I waited for my third bus to arrive and ship me into the horror that was SCHOOL. I shifted my blouse around which suddenly seemed two sizes too big and didn't cling to my body right. I was sure the skirt was sabotaging me in a way to get revenge after pricking its fabric so many times in the past years to eradicate my insecurities a tad. I felt awful as I walked along the slick-wet pavement toward the same, aged blue gates, passing the same, old security guard and dodging through same old people in the long-orphaned attempt at a 'cafe'. The day was spent with repressing a non-existent throb in my head and wishing the holidays hadn't ended. But it fucking did and I am fucking stuck in this room with the malfunctioned air-conditioning. FML.

On the bright side, I spent the day before the abysmal 2010 with Z. We went raiding for The Cathay which was actually right before our fucking eyes. The shops there are 123495959 better than the ones Tampines has to offer. Really. We bought tickets for Alvin and decided to have lunch. There wasn't any halal sushi which we coveted so much so we ended up eating LJS. We bought snacks but didn't finish any during the movie. There is only one word to describe it : Cute. We took the bus to watch the sunset, taking silly pictures and just talking along the way. We talked about everything. And there weren't any sunsets as we waited, appalled. It was just us, some joggers and the world looming over us.

I had never loathed a year so much in my life than this.

2009-12-30T16:51:00.007+08:00

kurangajarsekali

Today, 01:13 PM
@erwanyeunos

"Fact. Chinese cant stop being racist. They are just jealous of malays and indians. "

I am not sure which aspects about Malays and Indians that the Chinese are jealous of. What are your tangible achievements that the Chinese should be jealous of?

It is a well-documented fact that YOUR community is the weakest academic performers. Generations after generations. Even the gahmen MUST intervened to push you all to study, despite efforts made by Mendaki.

Maybe you can enlighten me why is it that the MAJORITY OF Malays perpetually cannot study nor pass Mathematics? I had a hard time teaching Malay students Maths. Whatever methods taught still cannot masuk the akal.

Oh and I need not go on about how some once get their salary, they would go missing in action.

Via http://comment.straitstimes.com/showthread.php?t=28470&page=28

What the fuck? Where is the Racial Harmony spirit man??? I feel hurt cause I am Malay and I don't pass math hah! But really, there are far more consequential things such as starving Africans and global warming than debating over Sezairi. What do you get from arguing anyway? He deserves the award or not, the results are already out and no one can change it. I think Sezairi deserves it but Sylvia is also good/inspirational cause I used to live in a one room flat like her and her parents are divorced too. But then rambut sama blonde, hati lain-lain. And since when it was all about race? Or religion.

Like malay people say, "Kalah menang adalah adat pertandingan." Pity Sezairi. If you want Sylvia to win, why you didn't vote???? Haiyo. Make things complicated only lah Singaporeans. Just go with the flow. Chill. You guys good in Math, Malay people good at winning Singapore Idol( and also singing and other aspects of the arts). Fair right? So now we can teach each other loh. Wouldn't it be fun? :D

Kay I don't even know why I'm posting this. I guess I was just vexed about the Malay-not-passing-math thing which I am currently experiencing hah. If only got cute chinese boy want to teach me...

All my dreams and all my balance

2009-12-30T16:01:00.002+08:00

I have a fucking sore throat, it fucking hurts! School starts in how many days and I am still not done with homework plus studying for entrance tests. And I enrolled for fucking tuition omg can you believe that?! Huh, I am going to waste my Sundays studying math. NYAAAAH I am so jdekefbekrir. I want to eat chocolate muffins. But I am fucking fat already.

You could be the one I'll always love

2009-12-24T08:17:00.002+08:00

I woke up at about 5 today and I just couldn't get myself to sleep so I woke up and turned on the lappy. Fuck I might sound lame/karat but I am hooked to Unintended by Muse! Alright I think that's it. I've got nothing else to say.

‘the dawn of the dead came toward me,’ I’m afraid.

2009-12-22T12:12:00.002+08:00

Looks like my school shoes, only a bit more battered and expensive maybe.

I just fell when I was about to go for breakfast with Mummy. :{ Painful. I got like lots of plasters on my leg now. Painful and grotesque. I loathe the shoe rack that has caused me such unnecessary pain! Oh and my inept ways of course. Though I can't rid of it, I was born with it.

I think I've put up that picture twice already. Shows my obsession with masquerades and 90210.

When I am king,

2009-12-21T11:57:00.005+08:00

I want to go to a masquarade!!!!!!!

My friends told me I have an impersonator. Who the fuck?
I don't love, Syahid, no pun intended. I barely know the guy to love him! But he's a great friend. :)

Alright so far I have finished half of my homework which is so darling of me. After this, I'm off to mulling over math and probably, if my heart relents, chemistry. My life is dull and inconsquential as ever, I don't know if I should protact this little fuck-bore space any longer. And Blogger is so....1820384840 years ago. Everybody either tweets or tumblrs now. Not like I feel the need to follow those people. But who said I was a trend setter either? I can't wait for the 31st though!! But fuck, I have to go through whorish wednesday the 23rd first.

Why???

In 2009, I have...

2009-12-17T20:19:00.002+08:00

made a friend

ate frozen yogurt

ate fake frozen yogurt

lost my glasses

learned how to put eyeliner

ran 2.4 km(which I haven't since I'm in secondary school)

sinus

lost a friend

had my heart broken

failed in painting my nails

had pimples on my nose

tried to s

lied to my mother

and several other people

wore leggings (never worn leggings-swear they look incongruous on me)

tried to write a book

cried too many times

had the worst year of my existence

I had an inspiration to make this. I have ceased to believe making new year resolutions. Instead, I reflect on my past doings. Never the best decisions I make myself but then, it's almost inevitable.

2009-12-16T12:31:00.001+08:00

calebrewster

My fingers were twitching-exhorting me to post this. Fuck Hot.

And you'll realize that you'll love me

2009-12-16T12:00:00.003+08:00

I have been looking for 90210 season two episodes but so far, my progressed has returned nil except for the first on youtube. I love all the actors-they're so beautiful. Beats the vampires in Twi hard though Kellan Lutz was in 90210 previously but his was just a tinee role. I am going to the class chalet later in the afternoon. Hope it'll be fun like last two years. Was it last two years? I dunno, my head's wired up wrongly today. My monthly friend has long orphaned me. Where are you, PMS, blood, bloating? Gosh, I hope I am not menopausing. AH!

Send for all your absent lovers things

2009-12-14T14:39:00.002+08:00

yummyyummy liam

I bought my school books and bag phew! All things settled except for homework. I still havent done math, bio chem and ss. And geog. Omg I have to start cracking my brain and bury myself in long orphaned books. Natasya, next year olevels!! Fuck why aren't the study nerves kicking in? It's great if I even get to a decent poly. Alright I don't like mulling over my future. Just let things flow~

Put a lid on all that noise

2009-12-09T20:24:00.006+08:00

OMG I LOVE Z FOR UPLOADING THE BEAUTIIIIFUL PHOTOS SHE EDITED!!!!! BEAUTIFUL! But I look fucking fat in most of the photos. My doing huh.

Alright Mummy is alright now thank god. I was so fucking worried. I like the cool night air tonight. I wish I can sleep on the playground mat with a blanket and some pillows. It would be so comfortable. And again, I love the pictures. I need braces. My teeth is a trainwreck.

It's time the fat cats had a heart attack

2009-12-09T14:09:00.002+08:00

I want to go prom yes!! Haha I love the American shows when they show girls ogling at prom dresses and have those little flower thingies on their wrists which their date gives them. I don't know what they're called. Mummy is sick now, I really pity her. I don't like to see her in pain. I almost finished my History hw but the pen bailed on me and I don't have back up. Which means I would have to buy a new pen which means going all the way to CP just to finish History. Doesn't sound fun to me.

OMG I hate Lady Gaga. She doesn't realize she's a trainwreck from the crown of her head to her little petty toes.

What's the matter with you man?

2009-12-07T19:41:00.002+08:00

Haha Shai's cute. I want a happy meal but the toys are nonsense. I want to go watch fireworks at New Year's Eve. New Moon is boring. Too much lengthy conversations and the muscle men and the lovey dovey talk. Haha but overall, it wasn't bad at all. I prefer Twi though.

I think I haven't lose any weight. :[

2009-12-05T20:09:00.003+08:00

I feel so fucking sick of my fucking life I just feel like bolting out the fucking door and scream my fucking heart out. I can't even cry in the hellhole I am living in because I feel so fucking constrained and nobody fucking cares. I just want to hurl my fucking insides out and blame everybody for my fucked up life until there's no one else I can put a finger to. There are so much fucking liars in this fucked up world where no one loves each other anymore and all they want to do is fight. Fight, fight and fucking fight. Fuck MY Life.

I think triangles are okay

2009-12-03T13:48:00.002+08:00

Alright my stats gone up to 20 in a day. Is it because if the indie boys post? Only god knows.

Gave Z her present and she loves it! She told me of course I couldn't have blindly guessed. I am working on my English hwk which is fucked up cause everything's fucked up in life if you like it or not. I want to go to a singfest to meet indie boys. I feel bereft. -does clicking noises with tongue-

I am have been watching 90210. Love the boys there. So hot. So good for my deprived life. New Moon came out today but I think I'll be watching in two months' time. All the fucking noobs are lining up for tickets now. Fuck, I guessed they've only known the books after the sudden Twilight frenzy. Shai knew it since she was in P6. I'm glad I'm her friend. I think we were the first ones to get the book in Ngee Ann or maybe even Tampines. Hah.

HOT INDIE BOYZX ALERT!!!

2009-12-01T19:26:00.010+08:00

YUMMY.

Haha Rob Patz is NOT INDIE but what the fuck I still like him cause he's funny despite what imbeciles say

nyomnyomnyom, my phone wallpaper now

It's him again!!! He's so so baby cute. Omg he's from Poland! So he's Polish right?

Haha poufy hair like Jasper's in Twi

Alright girls I hope you had fun. I did. =]
Thank you fuckyeahindieboys.tumblr

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

2009-12-01T14:57:00.001+08:00

Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.
-Jenna, Waitress

So I'll love you whatever you've become

2009-11-30T14:37:00.003+08:00

And I thought I could live without boys. =(

Together we're invincible

2009-11-28T22:34:00.002+08:00

Blegh I haven't lost any weight. I ate at Carousel just now and it was fucking great. I love the sushi and sashimi. Shiok. I am like totally bored fuck. Okay I don't know what else to type. I need to eat less, study more, play lappy less and hug my mother more. My mother cried yesterday. I can't bear to see her cry anymore. I love you, Mummy.

The panic, the vomit

2009-11-20T21:51:00.002+08:00

I am so bored and daft. I finished Her Fearful Symmetry and the story's kinda morbid :(. It's about death and stuff but I read it cause I love the way Audrey Niffneger writes. I don't know how to spell her name. And I haven't started on any homework fuck.

The salamanders and the hissing cats

2009-11-14T20:02:00.003+08:00

Dustin's

I love this, it's super pretty and somehow, meaningful. I spent Mummy's money too much today. I feel bad cause I always make her sad and cry sometimes that it makes me cry even harder. Why can't I just shut my gob and satiate her? I guess it's human nature to hate your mother sometimes.

(Dustin's the one looking bored)

Ain't he hot???!

Here comes the Pacman and the Wolverines

2009-11-13T12:37:00.003+08:00

I decided to blog again haha. I am fucking bored and I cut class :D. I need something good to read or even do. Arghh. HAVE. TO. STOP. EATING. Why can't I stop screwing my life? That's for being phisolophical(?) God, I hate spelling. :P

I NEED TO CUT MY FRINGE NOW!!!! I have not even showered. I like not showering on free morningsss with no school to bother me. I love my smelly, Hello-Kitty wearing niece. <3>

My Bucket List: (everyone needs a Bucket List!!!)

1. To fall madly in love with someone
2.Someone to fall madly in love with me
3.Get married in Lake Como, Italy(heh, shut up)
4.Have children(again shut up)
5. Live in Dublin with my mummy
6. Write novels
7.Meet Dustin Kessler
8.Hug and kiss Dustin Kessler's cheeks
9.Weigh 10 kilos lesser
10. Make my mummy a happy person

I hope I have time to fulfill that last one. Love you, Mummy. (everything else in the list seems pretty shallow huh? But's my Bucket List not yours!)

Bang Bang Cherry

2009-11-13T12:12:00.004+08:00

Pink Dinosaur!!! Haha I wanted to say Pink Dolphin but it came out Pink Dinosaur instead. And the aunty gave me Pink Champagne at last. :( Too many pinkish drinks huh?

Shai told me about this Dustin guy yesterday in the morning and I am really really touched cause he had only weeks/days/hours to live because of his rare heart condition his father had too. It feels really weird when someone tells you when you''re going to die and you're just counting down the days till the angels come to wrench your soul out of you and you close your eyes with people thinking you're dead when actually and queerly, you are still able to hear their thoughts and yours. It's true what they say. An ending is only a beginning. But I am more than afraid of this beginning. I loathe thinking of death. :(

Went to send far and mir to the airport for their NZ trip. Cried oh god. It's fucking contagious. And I had trouble walking in the airport. :[ Took fucking funny videos. Hope they watch them in the plane. :)

Oh and did I mention? Dustin Kessler is fucking hot. I keep having these sentiments that eventhough you're born drop-dead gorgeous, breathtakingly beautiful, a prodigy, with nice, long legs, hands of an artist; there's always a flaw in you. It's not particularly bad or unfair, just the way it is. Dustin is a eulogized drawer and a talented musician, has looks that of a greek god but has a short life to live. That's just how god wanted it. I don't know how my story will end up but I'll just let it flow until it's time to say,

The End.

That the fire in your heart was out

2009-11-05T16:44:00.003+08:00

The weather is so fucking cold now and my nose's fucking block. I can't breathe right. My hands are all pallid and cold. Today is so boring, I can melt into a puddle.

You are a vapour trail in a deep blue sky

2009-11-04T15:31:00.002+08:00

Blegh, I think I am gonna be sick. I came home with a fucking aslebfirfry headache and my body's all hot and shiverish now. :( The chemistry practical just now was tiring cause I was repressing the awful throb in my head and the fans were all switched off cause we had to use the Bunsen burner to warm up the experiments. I came home straight cause I was afraid I would get caught in the rain. I think I am going off to rest. Buh bye.

Her fearful symmetry

2009-11-02T15:07:00.002+08:00

This is cute but I don't have the slightest of what animal this is. Perhaps it's a horse but it's too beautiful. Perhaps it's a unicorn but where are it's wings? Perhaps it's a zebra or a donkey but where are the stripes and the large, bunny-like teeth? Does it even matter what it is?

Today was an indescribable day. It was spent on school, looking at horrifying/ vomit-inducing pictures of privates and Mac. God, I ate like an elephant today. :O My WLR has gone haywire!

It's young, it runs

2009-10-31T19:34:00.002+08:00

Nyoooha. I just came back from the fucking cca thing which is actually a hike-cum-beach cleaning thing and I'll really be asfggegh angry if I don't lose at least a pound. I felt like vomiting my icky lunch out halfway through the hike to terrace garden where my group had to set up the stuffs but I refused to let all the barf out cause it's disgusting-cum-embarrassing-cum-reminded me of My Sister's Keeper when the girl vomited out her lunch which happened to be fries. But it's so sweet that the guy engulfed her in his arms and comforted her. :)

I felt okay after drinking some water and climbed up the terrace. I uber love Z, A and F for helping me. :D I am so weak. My mum said it was partly because she gave birth to me late.

Oh gosh my niece bought paper dolls!!!

Songs of desperation I played them for you

2009-10-30T17:31:00.004+08:00

A moment
A love
A dream
Aloud
A kiss
A cry
Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment
a love
A dream
Aloud
A moment
a love
A dream
Aloud

Huh I am so fucking bored, I can fucking scoop my fucking eyeballs out with those ice-cream scooper things. Today is the somewhat the last day of school and I am dreading it. There's still fucking EAP and it's no different than normal school only a whole more dead. I saw this fucking hot askfleflefuer guy in the bus and I am suddenly remembered by one's of my friend who said, "most guys that you have crushes on are guys you met in the bus". God, it was like love at first sight only I think it's on my part only. Well anywho, I got report book today and I am utterly demoralized by suckish marks. But I am satiated.

Oh Motherfucker. I have to go for this fucking shit cca thing tomorrow. :(((((((((((

I had a dream of you that I can't define

2009-10-29T08:18:00.002+08:00

I decided to skip school today since it omniously promises a fucking boring day of staying in class with gaping mouths. I am having so much difficulty typing this out as my niece has done something to the lappy and now the screen is topsy turvy. Hopefully I am going to plaza sing in the afternoon to get my book. Toes crossed.
MY POSTS ARE GETTING SHORTER BY THE MINUTE. OKAY WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS?? OH THE FUCING THING IS ON WITHOUT MY DOING SO.

Ne me quitte pas

2009-10-24T17:45:00.004+08:00

fuckyeahskinnybitch.tumblr

Don't leave me.

Prime directive, exterminate the whole fuckin' race

2009-10-23T17:20:00.005+08:00

-the wolvesarecoming

if there was no imagination then life would be shit basically
-thewolvesarecoming

Huh I feel like a pile of fucking rotten flesh now and nothing can make me smile anymore. I don't want happiness to be momentary; I want it to be a lifetime. I can never get what I want or need. I feel like crying buckets full but really, what's the use? I can't even shed a tear now. People say life's a rollercoaster-but do I never reach the swirls and the humps ever?

Moot Point.

While spitting out the blood and screaming,

2009-10-22T20:17:00.002+08:00

http://fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com/

Watched Talentime with Z and it was the easily the fucking best movie I have watched in fifteen years of my existence. And I am not trying to promote/hypnotize/ whatever else anyone into watching but really, it moved me and Z to laughter, awe(all three guys are super fucking hot especially Mahesh(!!) and obviously tears. It was worth my six bucks and I love it manzx! But I split the ice mocha all over the top of my uniform but it managed to dissolve.

And I have been getting weird, similar, vexing dreams lately and I am confused. But dreams don't mean anything.

Right?

The angels come screaming

2009-10-18T19:42:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh I am fucking scared to my fucking guts. But I'll have to face the excruciating reality soon. Oh god, please help me.

Throttle the ignition

2009-10-17T13:28:00.002+08:00

I feel a fucking poop. I feel unloved. I loathe the life I am living. I wish change but change betrays me more than I do. Noone can help cause I can't help myself. Do I still have to keep on living with fantasies I know won't ever come true? I am not enjoying life when I should be before everything ends. Help if you can. Please.

:(

Terkenang aku pada si dia

2009-10-03T20:49:00.004+08:00

Haha, my aunt's face looked super cramp cause according to her son, she's trying to keep her eyes opened.
And my mummy's the most beautiful. :D (she's the one in purple tudung)

These are just some of the meagre hari raya photos I have. I know, very mediocre but hah what the fuck. I had like an open house which just ended a few hours ago and it earned me 35 bucks!!! And I didn't have to do anything but stay in the room and watch reruns of Singapore Idol. But I promised sis I have to treat her Mac breakfast awww.

Alright I didn't mug for the whole day omg. But I managed to do productive sociable conversation with my cousin-oh pathetic he's the only one. Okay I am off to watch PS I love you on HBO!

Of water cause my lips are chapped and faded

2009-10-02T20:55:00.003+08:00

Alright, now I am gonna blog, proper. Went to school like always and had a fucking poa test. Am gonna screw it but I suppose I have never give a fuck from the start. Spend the afternoon eating sushi in-okay I totally don't recall the name of the place. Hei Sushi is WAY FUCKING BETTER!!! Haha yeah but it barely costed me five bucks. See poor quality-skimpy price. Then spend the evening in Tau's place. I love her place, great for watching horror movies and cuddling with my friends! I especially loved Tau's Mummy's spaghetti goreng!

To the little blue tree

2009-09-20T01:30:00.001+08:00

Happy Happy Hari Raya!!!!!!!! Haiyo I am so bored okay bye.

But who could love me?

2009-09-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

Huh. Feel like painting my nails for raya since I am having my period and all. I shall paint smurf blue and buttery yellow. :D I am actually feeling very very sianzx. Cause I feel like a piece of fat shit. I need anti-depressants manzx. Okay. Calm down. Take deep, calming breathes. Hoo, heee. I want to watch The Time Traveller's Wife!!!!!!!!!!!! I am reading the book. Super thick but super uber good. I like Z's heart-shaped cookie dipped in melted white chocolate with varicoloured sprinkles! Yum. It tastes like butter cookie.

We are young.

2009-09-17T22:39:00.002+08:00

Oral kinda freaked me out but I supposed I dont really give a fuck. When I had to read the passage, I thought I forgot how to read. Then everything went through kinda rough then it was over. Heh. Okay I am a sloth.

You're gonna be the one that saves me

2009-08-31T16:20:00.002+08:00

Today today today was okay. The concert was ok. Asri's voice was like a toad in endless rain. The instrumentals are good. The vocals are the spoilers. There really isn't much to talk about but I got my baju kurung in the post office with Z and we raided the package. It is a funny baju kurung. We longed to eat lots of things, eg sushi, poppeyes etc. The school has minimum creativty and the day was just a draggy one. Oh oh and I saw him! But I made a total fool of myself. I was in the bus and he was standing while I was sitting opposite him. So I realized that he was looking at me so I looked back. And for a second of staring, I flinched! I totally flinched like I am scared of him or something. Haiyo, I always make a fool out of myself. What to do?

Heartache to heartache

2009-08-29T22:50:00.003+08:00

The afternoon was filled with headache and neck strains and boredom. I watched Patch Adams and loved it. Then Mummy asked me to get dressed cause we're breaking fast at Compass Point. Spent an hour looking for books and found two okay ones. Then walked around and went to KFC. The chicken made me want to vomit. The oil, god, disgusting. I don't wanna eat KFC chicken anymore please.

I am like so bored. Fucking bored. Bleak. Torpid. Ugh.

Godspeed!

2009-08-27T17:20:00.003+08:00

My hair is fucking acting up nowadays-like I can't subjugate it to my orders. Like if I think, "ponytail", it will turn out to look some crappy version of a outgrown toilet brush. Feel like chopping it all off. But I am not that bold :(

School's been fine, feel like a pig now for not studying lots of stuff for math. I improved my humans which is a yay for me. :))) I got like 80+. And improved malay but fuck, I hate malay class. And I hate the people in them(especially the teachers which happen to be married to each other). That is so redundant. And and and................................................I passed bio like at last!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of myself and pleased and mostly sad. I felt like tearing. See I jumped from 15 to 24!! Even Ms Lee congratulated me. Love her. <<<<3333

I feel like a no-life. I haven't been to any party for the last three years and havent bought anything good for myself. Haven't taken any pictures with friends nor went out with them for something FUN. Why? Why? Why? Lament, lament, lament. And I dont think I am losing any weight. :(((

Haha my font is tinyyyyyyy like ants.

Baby it's a violent world

2009-08-23T16:56:00.002+08:00

Oh love don't let me go
Won't you take me where the streetlights glow
I could hear it coming
Like a serenade of sound
Now my feet won't touch the ground

-life in technicolor 2, Coldplay

Wont you take me where the streetlights glow

2009-08-22T23:58:00.002+08:00

I wish I could be Gachapin.He's ugly but noone bothers. They still fancy him, and ignores the fact that he has a grotesque, owl-like face. And is green.

Did I deserve this? God.

Break from the ropes your hand are tied

2009-08-21T21:14:00.002+08:00

Angry, angry, angry. Feeling like ripping my throat out and shaving my head bold cause I am fucking mad. So many binatangs in this world. What did I do to have deserved this??? My posts are meaningless. So is my life,

In the ballroom with a glass, remembering it all at last

2009-08-09T14:57:00.002+08:00

Last friday was spent doing nothing much actually. Gave Shai her bday prezzie. <3 we hugged and cried. But I cried a tad only. Then had the national day concert. Was separated from Z!! I wanted to die almost sitting where I sat. The lion dance, wahlao every year see twice also people excited like fuck. I liked the dikir barat. Still kental. The Bhangra dance ok. Then went down to Fiesta. The brownie I bought not nice then Mazlan asked to throw. He asked me,"Asal tak makan sampai habis." Haha! Suddenly sound so fatherly. Haiyo.

After that I got chopsticks! Nicee. Took class photo. Went to ehub after all that to watch HP but no vacancies so the others watched GI while me and Z went for lunch. I like the spaghetti!! Then went to the beach, Z on the keroncong song and it rained! Soaked to the skin and ran for shelter. There were a group of haising girls and a couple of apeks. The apeks are nice. The girls also nice, offered us tissues.

Huh I hate being interrogated leh. (grumbles)

I may be paranoid, but not an android

2009-07-28T16:39:00.003+08:00

I should like panic. Tommorow is the fucking poa test and I don't know a fucking thing about the journals stuffs. :O Panic, panic, panic at the fall out(inside joke). Wahlao I feel so bad about myself. Not commiting myself to the things I promised to do. Or maybe they are not the things I should be doing in life. Maktub.

Maktub

2009-07-26T12:33:00.002+08:00

I can't be anymore sadder. Yasmin Ahmad, who thought me lots of lessons in life though indirectly has died. When many people are counting on her for guidance and peace for once in their lives. We won't be sad for your leave. Yet happy because you'll finally be able to meet God.

Semoga Allah melindungi mu.

This is my final fit, my final bellyache

2009-07-22T15:13:00.003+08:00

Fuck I feel depressed. Like a fucking drain. I don't think anything can make me happy anymore, satiated even. It's been a long time since I am feeling this and somehow, I feel like I am not used to this horrible feeling. I don't even know what happiness is anymore. Fuck emotional siak.

<3

Adat

2009-07-19T12:00:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was like bizzare. Went to Mac Whitesands for study group with Z,T,S and F. Ordered double chocolate and cinnamon melts. Then chatted and managed to do one ionic equation only haha. Shopped for shampoo and adopted a dolphin. :) Then me and Z went to the playground to play swings and I am noob at it. Can't make it go any higher. Called the rest to join us. Then there were like a group of wannabe soccer players who played on the field across from us. Two of them asked if we wanted to join them (not) and if we wanted to we could tell it to this lesbian person who looked like a jantan. So I asked if he/she was jantan or betina and the indian said the person was a heshe. Then like five minutes later, the other two came bitching at us. The betinajantan and fatso babat terkeluar nak act cakap pasal adat padahal sendiri mulut longkang ketiak berkerak. She was wearing fucking fbts with thighs resembling cottage cheese(aku rase cottage cheese lagi mulia) and the other was fucking claiming she's a 'woman' and 'not fifteen'. I don't have anything against gays but if you are one, then say it. You don't have to claim you're a woman or beradat when you dress like a fucking man. Does dressing a jantan and having countless piercings a muslim do-able even? If you want to act like a guy, bandage your tits or have piercings, I don't give a fuck because you free to do anything with yourself. But just do it with a little integrity and reflect on yourself first before judging people and contradict yourself.

So the moral of the story is...Ask youself wherever you go: Do you consider yourself beradat? Do you even know the definition of it?

A heart that full's full up like a landfill

2009-07-18T11:28:00.012+08:00

Ok, ok. I am back by popular demand!! (haha whatevs.) So I am like old now. Serious. 15. And 20 years from now, I'll start counting down the days to sagging skin and boobs. Got neat presents from friends. Z treated me sushi!!! Haha she act confident only but like I finished most of them. Got duck thingy with wanwan from mir and far. And SWEET Diva bracelets from Gen and Christine! Thanks thanks. I love the bangles cause its vintage+sweet. Ok I am going to thank her on her blog. Then thanks ah for the people who wished me happy bday. (But I have my evil sentiment for those who wished me happy bday haha!!)Mummy bought me Topshop bag. :) Ok talk about presents boring lah.

Yesterday Eighteen Chefs. Got this super hot waiter. Super hot. Serious. He look like Bill Kaulitz. Only less gayer. Then when home around 7 ish. The previous day I had this anorexic moment when I didn't ate and slept and got this super headache and felt like throwing up. I can't even walk properly then asked Mummy to rub my tummy. Pain like nkdeodeohff.

Yay I passed my chem test!! 26/40. It is a miracle.

The World We Live In

2009-06-21T20:29:00.002+08:00

Uh...like there's one more week until school starts and I am super, super dreading it cause I'll have to look at the chicken shit faces again!!! God...I just can't stand it already, I want to change schools, migrate to Japan(or Korea), buy lots of stuff(clothes, bags, a new phone!!), get married, safe Earth, blaspheme at idiots who insist on using plastic bags and other eart-damaging stuff, throw my homework and do other stupid, satiating things. I need a change.

Love burns brighter than sunshine

2009-06-19T11:01:00.001+08:00

Yayayaa!!! I finished English like finally. Huh, and I just remembered I have to go to school just to hand that stupid fucking form that my teacher handed us late. Purposely I tell you!!! Miura Haruma!!!! So hot manzx cannot tahan. Ok bye!!

Koizora

2009-06-17T14:14:00.002+08:00

OMG. I cried watching this Jap movie, the title is Koizora or Sky of Love in English. The guy is super hot+sweet+sweet!! But the story is so saddddddd, I cried at the end cause the guy died!! I've been looking for these kind of movies for a long time. I can't stand boring romance movies that are really just all about sex and kissing and panties. Haha! Okay, chicken shit. I think I am going to watch it again. Just finished Chem worksheet, at last!!! So long, my fingers cramped. Okay, so people, watch Koizora okay!!! So sad manzx. :((

A broken wrist and a big trapeze

2009-06-09T10:38:00.002+08:00

UHHHH. I feel so stressed now cause I dunno whether I should buy the nicey nicey vintage Mango sling bag that is SUPER nice man!!! Huh, stress!!! Cause I have to splurge big time on it and I'm planning to shop for other items of clothing like a must-have grey cardigan that I don't have!!!!! Uh. Hate it. Why can't I be like super rich so that I wont feel sick spending 89 bucks on a bag. EIGHTY NINE BUCKS MANZX!! That is like A LOT to me. Yes I know, I am like poor. I realize there are actually so many rich people around me with nice bags and DSLRS. While I have none. Huh, I have become so materialistic. I need to work and earn my own money. I think six hundred will suffice my shopping needs. And my phone. God, it is three years old already!! But I love it so no way am I changing. The only thing is, it doesn't have caller id. Shut up. You know if I bought the Mango bag, then I won't have any money left for a Nike school bag which then result in my being stuck with Dickies the whole year!!! Argh, Dickies is like way out already. Everyone's wearing it now. I have such a foolish dilemma when there are many people out there starving and climates are changing. Which goes to show, some problems are just fabricated for one's mull. (tsk tsk me) Okay, nevermind if you don't understand that.

And OMG, I love this Korean film!! So cute manzx. Huh....there is this cute guy shit I forgot his name.

Can you read my mind?

2009-06-06T09:54:00.003+08:00

Huhhh...bored like fuck I am for I don't know how many days. Never knew hols were this boring!!! I am glad I didn't go for the class outing! Even if I did, I will just make my way alone and only a tad bother about the others. Haha, so bad. PLEASE SOMEONE GO OUT WITH ME!!! I need to shop but when I look back at it, I would rather go shopping with Mummy cause she has the kachings. Okay, I'll try to stop myself from internally dying of boredom now. Bye!

A subtle kiss that noone sees

2009-06-04T11:10:00.002+08:00

:)Read the blog post. Apology accepted, though even if you didn't, I would still regard you as a friend. So is it okay if I talk to you now?? Haha, I don't know yet.

Okay like I feel holidays just started cause the previous days were like npcc stuff. BORING. But well, as the Sir has mentioned earlier, I am a full-fledged cadet leader!!! Okay I am in serious need of shopping-I need shoes, bags, clothes(!!) and a new phone!!!! But the latter isn't that important. And I am on my W.L.R now!!! Wish me luck!!!

Mianhaminda

2009-05-29T17:50:00.002+08:00

It's been a looooong time since I have had a headache and I hate itttt. Makes me think paranodially(??) that I am having swine flu. Okay today was ...(don't know what word to describe but it is between the lines of tiring and maddening). Had the whatever cleanup day. Didn't want to lug myself with books so G and T and I went down to look for their juniors who have locker. Ended up squeezing in with C's. Thank you, thank you. Then went up again, got lollie from ms Khoo <3. She so sweet and pwettyyyy. HUHHHH. I finally have an opportunity to relieve my sushi craving!!!! Hei Sushi on Sunday!!! Yay, I can't wait manzx. And it only costs 13 bucks(!!!) for a 90-min buffet=you can eat anything whatever you want!!! :DD

Cheonmaneyo

2009-05-28T11:32:00.003+08:00

Hi I am eating cold dumplings now cause Mum had put it into the refridgerator previously and it's all chilly and not nice. :( Skipped school today cause I am supposed to have double napha!!(running and five stations) so I am more than unbothered to participate. I think most of the sec3s pon school cause I just saw J logging into Msn haha. Eeyer, I regretted eating the dumpling. Okay cause I thought it MIGHT taste like sushi(which I am craving for) but it doesn't at all. Will be going out in the afternoon to get hair trimmed(maybe cause I love it too much to see it all trimmed and short) but I'll accompany Z anyways. I want ramen and sushi manzxxxx!!!! Okay I was looking for my vintage pleather sling bag(still lost) when I found my sister's stewardess stuffs. Like all the books and the Cabin Crew bag tags!! Cool manx, I am gonna put the bag tag on my bag. Haha. And I am gonna read up on the books during the hols cause who knows, I might wanna be a flight attendent haha!! Okay bye!

Let there be love

2009-05-21T18:02:00.003+08:00

Yayayay!! I got 72/100 for combined humans which means I've secured an A2 on my report book. The rest I did BADLY, so whatever. I am getting tuition for math and maybe biology cause I am weak at these two subjects particularly. And I've realized my mistakes on not studying since the beginning of the year and rushing everything up in my not-so computerish brain so I am gonna make full use of my holidays for studying and forgetting about mundane matters. I am at episode 17 currently on BOF and 8 more to go!!! But I am at the unfavorable scenes so I just fast forwaded some of the scenes. JUN PYO ALL THE WAY!!!!!! :)

Shake up your tired eyes, the world is waiting for you

2009-05-20T19:58:00.002+08:00

Hurhur...I am SAD with my results. I am only satiated with my E.History results, 41/50. The rest is vomit. Ok shall be watching BOF!!! Team Jun Pyo!!!! Come on lah people. Don't think Ji Shoon is the best guy for Jandi just because he treats her better than Jun Pyo does. Jun Pyo is a softie at heart!! Okay byebye!

Just remember I'll be by your side

2009-05-19T16:39:00.002+08:00

I HATE post exam activities cause they suck underwears. Boring!!!!!! felt like sleeping throughout the money management talk and the sex talk was NOT INTERESTING. Nothing memorable. Went lunch at BK and home. See, even my post is scanty. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, JUN PYO <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Come on baby blue

2009-05-17T13:53:00.002+08:00

:))))))))))))))) I <3 Boys Over Flowers!!!! Yesterday I watched the first episode on Channel U then this morning I watched the last episode on KBS!! Like funny cause I dunno stuff that happened in the middle but still, I don't have to cause I understood the whole story already!!! But I'll still watch the subsequent episodes though. And I have listening tmr. I have always sucked at Malay listenings cause the options are always like the same and I don't which is correct and I just tikam based on luck. Ok bye!

We dont claim to be perfect

2009-05-16T19:07:00.002+08:00

I am ready for a change. I think school holidays are the best moments in my life cause it gives me a chance to recollect my life and diminish sentiments I have about people and myself for once. I want to have a better understanding of life, God and worthy of getting myself intertwined in undesirable actions(being rude to Lei Mee, not doing math assigments).I want to get my social life into shape cause I haven't been able to do so for the past years. I want to be happy and love my mother more and appreciate her. I want to stop having two meals in a day and fast on Mondays and Thursdays cause it gives me a a kind of bond with God. I want to stop thinking about people who don't think about me. I want to start thinking more of God cause only He thinks about us all the time, every nanosecond. And last of all, I want to stick to my W.L.G. :)

Rendesvouz, Rendesvouz

2009-05-13T18:20:00.002+08:00

I am a super duper NOOBBB. I was supposed to go to school at 11 today for bio paper and the nooby me went to school at 7!!! When I could have slept for a few more precious hours!!! The paper was alright actually only I didn't study for it so yeah...went for lunch at PH with F,F, S, T, A, A, Z. Had fun after a very long time of being mentally and physically drained. And I <3 frolicks!! Haha I only had like one scoop but it was greatttt. Better than ice cream. Alrighty, I am having cramps.:(

This is what you'll get when you mess with us

2009-05-10T12:24:00.002+08:00

I am so fucking mad I don't know why. I am disliking the girl I was previously talking about multiple more times. Okay maybe you know the reasons why I don't fancy her eventhough I have zero knowledge of her but please, if you do, tell me!!! Cause I don't even know and I hate to admit this throbbing realization. (screws face) Alrighty, I have been studying poa like THOROUGHLY so I don't miss out on anything. Went to Vivo to buy Mummy's purse with zully and had The Chicken Rice Shop. I like the grilled butter chicken. I went to Sengkang Riverside Park yesterday to study and there wasn't any approriate seats so I had to sit on the ground that made my legs itch. And I want to dye my hair jet black!! Mine is smoky black, not nice. Okay byebye! And I haven't study bio manzx.

It's turned into your broken tragedy

2009-05-07T13:16:00.002+08:00

GG,GG,GG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Screwed Chemistry, byebye A1. I think I have seriously deproved when I have been consistently improving my grades for chem. Failure, dissapoinment. I am only so far confident of my english and that is variable even. What is happening to you, Natasya??!!! The only papers I am looking forward to mugging hard for them are elect history, math, poa and core geog. I MUST do well in geog cause that is my only favourable subject(well chem used to be in the list as well). Malay=dead. I am confident of getting at least a B3. Doesnt matter, it's only midyears. I aim to do muchmuch better for CA2 although it's already partially screwed for my 16/30 compo. Maybe I can request Mdm Yanti for a retest. I NEED IT. I will have to work myself out on geog notes now. Bye!

Fake chinese rubber plant

2009-05-06T18:03:00.003+08:00

I flunked everything I did for the past few days. SS failed. Math. Failed. Malay. FAILED. OMG I am so dissapointed in my malay and my compo was nkbbfffobn. And god, something SCARY happened just now when my calculator ditched me in the middle of Math paper1!!! I was like super freaked out and I almost cried when I managed to fix it back up. I think I would have gotten, what, lowest in the level?? DISGRACE. And I find it easier to study Chemistry :D rather than Math. I am aiming for A1!! Must get or I'll just hang myself by a rope. :( And I have SHIT hair nowadays!!! Gonna chop it off on the weekends. I hope nobody recognizes me when I have my hair all shorn. Err, and that binatang keeps going to my class's row before exam starts. His face= GROSS, GROTESQUE, PLAIN KORNEK!!! I almost puked manzx.

2009-05-05T18:05:00.003+08:00

I don't have a lifeeeeeeee. I HATE MYES and not to mention my whole dreadful lifeless/pointless life in NGEE ANN. Fail fail. I made the wrong choice in P6. I didn't even know why I chose this school, maybe cause I saw the yearbook in my old primary school library. JUST BECAUSE OF THAT!! I would have chosen St Hildas or something manzx. Grrrrrrrrrrrr...I am sososo not happy. I just feel like getting my Os over and done with so that I can get outta there hellhole. YOU KNOW WHY I HATE THAT FUCKING PLACE??? Because it's inhabitat by AHLIANS and WANNABE MATS WHO INSIST THEY ARE NOT MATS WHEN YOU ARE FUCKING DRESSED LIKE ONE! I can't stand and MONSTERS EVEN!! Yes there are MONSTERS in ngee ann. HUGE AND UGLY AND BALD BUT THEY THINK THEY ARE SO FUCKING COOL. GET A FUCKING MIRROR. I JUST FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT YOUR FAGGOT FUCKHEADS AND MAYBE I WILL!!!!!! YEAH I WILL IF I GET SO FUCKED UP AND I"LL EVEN SQUEEZE YOUR TITS CAUSE YOU CAN"T SQUEEZE MINE CAUSE IF YOU DO, I"LL MAKE VERY SURE THAT YOU ROT IN JAIL YOUR WHOLE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*uncensored words deleted cause Sundram will grill my tits

I don't wanna be a soldier

2009-05-04T15:04:00.002+08:00

Flunked Compo. I used malay names manzx in attempt to sound Singaporean, haha. My characters' names were like Aminah, Azlan(husband and wife). Went home straight after the papers and I saw this Ngee Ann boy who I used to take bus 59 with when I lived in Bedok. And it was like Dejavu man cause he's now living in Sengkang too!! Haha crazy but it's like weird. Okay I am off to makan now!

Kiteretsu!!

2009-05-03T18:49:00.002+08:00

OMG!!! I am like offcialy getting mad!!!! I wanted to log into my Blogger account and I went to log in on my old account that was my old lamelamelame blog!!!!!! I know, I know not interesting blahblah. But really, Mid years are getting into me. Oh and I haven't deleted the old blog manzx. Hahaha. Lazy but kept it lock. Today went to the wedding. I hate weddings as always cause there's nothing much to do but eat then look at the bride and groom. And I hate the kompang thing also!! Noisy, I thought I was going to die from the beat. I figured out that I am so not close to my cousins on my mother's side except for this one IRRITATING guy who was initially a fatso(his sister told us that he wore her bra when he was like twelve??) who keep asking me wether I am still single. But I hear he is slimmer now because of NS but I still have doubts. Oh and I offcialy DISLIKE(not hate) a girl from my school although I barely even know her. Hard to explain. I am still deciding wether or not to bring a bag tommorow since there's nothing much to bring but my pencilbox, hp, earpiece. OMG Kiteretsu just started!!!! Watch!!!

We're all of the stars, we're fading away

2009-05-02T11:15:00.002+08:00

Okayzx I am like a complete NOOB at Facebook, manzx. I don't know what else to do except add people I know as friends!! Huh, what is the Wall thingy??? Confuseddd. :(
Oh, I am so happyhappy cause I finished the tiresome geog notes at lasttttt and know I'll just have to memorize 38 pages of notes!!!1 :((( I think I am going to flunk geog but I'll NOT let that happen!!!! Have faith, Natasya!! Believe in yourself!! You NEED to be in top 5!!! :D

Stop crying your heart out

2009-05-01T19:58:00.002+08:00

OMG I can't believe I just made a Facebook account and I don't even know why!! But it happened maybe cause I was tempted to try the quizes my sister keep talking about and the games. -.- Oh, I hate menses cause it makes me eat so much before every period. And picture uploader is like nskbfbjrbfrv slow! Okay, I should be studying for MYEs now. Sighhhs.

Your destiny may keep you warm

2009-04-30T20:33:00.002+08:00

OMG I was so damn tired today at school manzx. Like I already felt like sleeping in the bus while I stand (and there was this stupid guy who was like standing so close to me and I can barely breathe) and in the hall after tmeperature taking, I tried to take a nap but T kept disturbing me. But I am happyhappy cause we didn't have to run 2.4 today and we had to do mass pt!! which was like so fun. Kept laughing while trying to do man pushups. OMG I am eating too much now. I had like three meals today?? and I still feel hungry. :( And guys in my class are trend-setters. They made this new sport thingy of jumping over tables. It was so hysterical when T wanted to borrow E's poa tb and he told her to get it herself. So we went to his seat and we got scared cause J was like brooding(????) in his seat and like in his own world of emoness. So we were like laughing and slapping each other in the middle of the class cause we were scared/it was funny. So T wanted to take the book from the other end because we were scared and it took such a long time to just get one pathetic book. But seriously uh, J intimidates me and T!! Stop it with the expressionless face/ constantly droopy eyes. Scares people, well at least us, you know!!
Ok I am off to bathe. :D

You'll never change what's been and gone

2009-04-29T18:18:00.005+08:00

Today was dull, dull, torpid, torpid. Got back english compo, highest manzx. First time getting a 16/30 and 23/30 in my life on 2009.Best. I always knew this year was going to be a carbon copy of the previous ones so no shocks there. And huh, I feel so detached from the class, feel like going out of that hellhole(cliche,cliche) like after every lesson and just slacking in the toilet cubicle. But I suppose I am making progress academically and a tad socially. But some people, I can't help hating. No shocks there either.

I want want want to go to a concert someday after exams. If Oasis, Coldplay, Avenged, Embrace(like seriously doubt)or Muse would come to Singapore, I'll go!! But yeah, I would have to drag someone with me cause I hate being alone :( And I can't wait for shopping!!! I need to get clothes, Mummy's day present, shoe bag, Periodic table wallet...Can't wait, can't wait. :D

Should I cut my hair? I feel like sick waiting for it to grow to desirable length. I feely like watching Gong too. I was mad about it like back when I was in my P6 cause of Kim Jeoung Hoon!!!! OMG hot manzx. But he's like super old!!

cute like nsjdnkcnirfd

I even bought a chinese mag which I can't decipher a shit of cause I <3 him too much!!! And it costed 6 bucks!! But there was a HUGE post of him. :D Mummy threw it. :(

Over taking me you're racing

2009-04-28T16:59:00.003+08:00

I went for the bio study thingy with G, C and T and I like finally understood some stuff. Anyway, I am like super happy with my marks, manzx!! Geog- 20/25!! But POA not so happy cause I got like a B3 but no matter cause I am still aiming for my A1 and I am more determined to study harder and not slack!!! :D And I am so proud of myself cause this is like the first time I actually ever get an A after two years taking geography. Okay so like an update on my academic achievments:

Geog-20/25 (A1)
Chem-33/40 (A1)
Math-14/20 (A2)
POA-26.5/40(B3)

I think I made improvements!! Shall study today, focusfocusfocus!!! And <3 class clique. And should I go to Cambodia???

Trapped in by all these mountains

2009-04-26T12:51:00.003+08:00

Yay, I managed to wake up in the morning cause Mummy was dragging me to go jogging with her. So I did without bathing. She wore my Mindaaktif shirt cause I super hate it now cause it looks super big on me and it so super raggish. I didn't run cause the weather was a boosha and I was still semi-conscious. The park was lovely, the waters were like shimmering. So went to Mac to get coke and walked home. I am going to T1 later for fun cause Mummy and I have no lives. I am studying bio now cause I am having a test on Monday. :( But I am not an emo and I shall not stress myself!!! :))))))

Elevators and half-priced sales

2009-04-25T19:56:00.004+08:00

Huh, I give up, you. I thought I had the guts to tell you, but I don't really. You intimidate me and I abominated the lucid feelings I have for you. I pondered over you when you don't give a fuck about me. God, am I an imbecile? I know I don't deserve you because I am not perfect, but heck who is? I suppose I am afraid of dissapointment and evident embarassment. I observed you from a distance and exhorted myself to stop but the feelings just fabricated themselves into painful sentiments. We barely spoke to each other and I don't know you at all, and I wandered queerly to myself-how did this happen to me? You are nothing special to me but an even macabre image, but how? How could I think about you every single day and ridicule myself with a thread of excruciating possibilities? You, you make me covet for your presence and cadge for your absence. Please, don't treat me as though we don't know each other at all. Perhaps a smile would have satiated me but I never expected that of you ever. Because I don't want to keep telling myself lies and unachievable hopes. I just pray I can forget about you. I want to stop crying my heart out for something as stupid and pointless as this.My heart feels like it had been toyed with and it had been wholly my fault. I had marred my own feelings and I just hope you're happy. And people, I don't need consultation from either of you. Don't ask me who I am talking about cause I am never going to say. Don't ask me about my post, or any of those that I have written, because I just loathe insensitivity and blatantness.Moot point.Keep your queries peripheral to my personal life to yourself, please. Thank you.

Sok san one kerd

2009-04-24T20:46:00.003+08:00

Ahhh. I am super super boredddddd. And I don't often fancy writing two posts in a day but I have nothing else to do, manzx. Noone is online and even if there are, I won't be bothered to switch from my ever favorite Appear Offline status. And I need Cokeeeee. eventhough I drank a whole bottle already. :( Wo yau he Coke!!! (sp?) And I need to speak to someone urgently!! But he is nowhere to be seen!! Huhuhuh. People are enjoying their lives and I am rottingggg. And the weather is lkfhfklfhfnke. I want to start being emo lah. Haha. :S

Yakinkan aku, Tuhan, dia bukan milikku

2009-04-24T16:59:00.004+08:00

I am like supposed to be emo a while ago but I am not now. :D Sleeping kills all the grief that has been repressed in my thread of thoughts so I recommend napping, emos. So tests. POA: flunked. SS: flunked. English: Passable I suppose. Chem: PWNS. 33/40 fuck man! I deserve a new Crumpler bag at least? Haha. Which will happen in 19228834 years. I am happy that the tests are over cause it has been swigging fun out of me. OMG. I was in the crowded 27 bus full of HOT HOT AHBENGS!! Like seriously. HOT. But their faces all look oddly similar to each other. Huh, and I embarrased myself by dropping stupid Lakerol on the floor. :( I realize I tend to switch topics to completely unrelated matters. :o

I tend to make this a long post but I have nothing else to say. Ohohoh. I miss my primary school best friend, manzx! Should I talk to him? God, I barely even know him now. Havent seen him in 2+years. Sad...I hope he's taller than I am now.

And I lost my specs!! I can't see at all and Mummy's not buying me new ones until next month. :((